Blog Day 6: The Realizations

 Dear Lord,

    Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for just bringing forth new beginnings and clear realizations for our minds to be free from the enemy's clutch. Allow us to always be proud of the journey we are taking here on earth, cover our innocence, and continue to guide us in the right direction for you are the only way to go.        

    ~In Jesus Name, Amen

        We are here, day 6! Almost a whole week of the blog being dropped and I can't believe how much my life story has resonated with so many people. Yesterday we discussed a lot about the MLM fiasco, now we are going to talk about how this ties into my 2022 experience with homelessness and really how much the controlled dynamic of individuals came forth to me in my personal life as well.

       After leaving the solar panel MLM and being told to leave the apartments they provided for ( yes these people had enough money to house thousands of people I was shocked when I seen it too because this was in a way such a smart, yet devious way to keep people in control; like how much more further can you go with this smh), I  literally had no where to go, but back to my dad's house who I just previously moved from. Knowing I had to make that choice messed me up so bad just because I wanted to be my own independent woman and not have to keep going backwards with something like that. I soon realize this is going to be a recurring cycle of this game of life. I ended up living with my sister and her children who lived in Phoenix, AZ at the time for a fresh start which I was 100% game for.

       Long story short I did not stay in Arizona for too long and ended up in Oklahoma City, OK which was a huge culture shock for me as a whole. I lived here for only 6 months, but within those months I experienced a lot. I experienced many first being out there like having to be around gang affiliation, guns, accused of shit I didn't do, drugs, sexual harassment and at times ran into just not the best people. I wouldn't say this was the worst, but it definitely changed my perspective on people as a whole especially those I  call family. Those same people I thought I could trust also had a lot of control over my life. 

        I wasn't the best with my communication skills as a whole at the time, so I really didn't say much ( also that was a bad habit I picked up from my own household growing up; we had to be silenced for a lot of things so it just kind of stuck in these situations). I had to leave most of my clothes at the house I was staying at with no return, inventory from my handmade jewelry collection that I made myself had to be thrown away, and shoes that were all I had literally. Everything I owned was gone all because I wasn't told about an unexpected move, so as a result left no choice but for them to drop me off at the corner like a stray animal with no one to call or help me. My sister couldn't because she was already housed and had her children. Now at the time I was so angry with her because I knew her boyfriend knew about this entire move, but at the end of the day I really had to look beyond that and not be mad at her. I feel like if I held that grudge on my sister that we would never talk again but I really had to face that situation in real time so I was definitely mad for a while. I eventually just forgave her and had to find out what I had to do to get myself housed.

        I ended up at this LGBTQ homeless shelter called SISU because it was the only one I could go to that was close to the house I was staying at. This was when I realized that I hit rock bottom. Never in my mind did I think I was going to be in a situation where I become homeless especially at a state I'm not from. In all honesty it was so damn embarrassing to be in this space because I didn't deserve what was done to me by people I thought I could trust with my life. I soon found out they really didn't care where I was going. 

    Thank you for reading this portion of the 2022 experience! Now it doesn't end here because we are just getting started on this as a whole. 2022 was a very long year for me so this will be a longer story line than the others I have shared as this was the year I fully was able to be on my own as an adult after the pandemic and high school. This was low key the real introduction to adult life for me rather because it was the first time I moved out of California after being there all my life it was a huge jump of change for me. But hang in there my lovely readers, there will be more on this subject tomorrow as this is only just a smudge of what I experienced this year! God bless and keep moving forward<3

        ~Indigo Vibration<3 1111