Blog Day 4: The Aftermath Pt. 2

  Dear Lord,

 We come to you on this Sunday from where we are today to give you thanks for all that you do. You are everything and more to each one of those who are reading this passage. May we all be free in your presence to find new definitions to love. For love is a strong, delicate, profound vibration that shall be treated as such. Allow me to enlighten the weary souls who have yet to find love not even just from another mate, within you as they do for themselves. Break the chains that keep those shacked away from love and give them the glory to attain love in various forms! 

        ~In Jesus Name, Amen

        Here we are back for part 2! Mannn part 1 had me diving deep into the trenches of my memory to get y'all a good chapter lol. All I can really say is 2021 was that huge awakening year for me. This was the year I really started to find out my own identity just off-rip. Most of this time I was obviously turning 21 so I was just excited to explore more, but this was the year I was introduced to various forms of love. One of those being romantic wise of course.

    I wouldn't be too detailed on the situation because there was a ton I had to learn along the way. I believe I dated only two people at the time on a consistent basis, but had some flings as well in between that did not last very long. When I tell you the two that I dated consistently really made me open my eyes at different times. I didn't really have a full on understanding of what love really meant to me back then because it wasn't ever introduced to me as like it was the best thing in the world ( especially sex). Come to think of it I don't think I really had a proper talk about sex until later years when it already happened. Most things were over glorified by pornography which is not realistic love at ALL! Never would I have caught on to those unhealthy patterns of thinking I needed that to guide me to healthy love and sex if I never went through my sexual trauma. In a sense that opened my eyes to not be guided that way so when I met the two men I dated at the time ( one being a queer relationship) I was shocked at how much value I truly carried within myself and just how much others can see the light within me that always used to get dimmed through bullying all my life.

        I can honestly say that they both changed my perspective on how much I can attain love. That it's available for me to access and not just something that is surfaced. I can love unconditionally as long as I love myself authentically. The truth of the matter is I really give huge credit for them planting many seeds for my conscious and subconscious mind to be in alignment for when I got to the age I am today. I feel as though they came into my life and showed me parts of me I never knew existed, how sexy I am/ could really be, expanded my creative mind and ultimately healed parts of my sexual trauma as a whole. I can't thank them enough and I hope they know who they are :)) The best part of all of that is I can still talk to them as they have moved on with their lives and have children and families of their own. They have given that perspective of forgiveness as well and not to carry bitterness in my heart but to see things from both sides to really do that deep diving soul searching. They both low-key some gurus or at least had to been in a past life lmao. Shout out to y'all!! 

        But for now I'd really like to get into the end of 2021 and the beginning of the year 2022 in my next chapters because this ties into a love on all forms aspect as well. I really wanted this chapter to bring light onto situations that have kept me stagnate in love along the way which kind of ties into the year afterwards because it came full throttle with no remorse lol. I can laugh at these times now because I know God only provided me the best after all that I have been through. Once you really start to awaken to his presence and take your intuition seriously , he will always provide no matter what. I really believe we all will find love, but it's what you do with that TRUE definition of it that matters the most. 

            ~Indigo Vibration<3 1111